Who’s to Blame for the Bruins Season?

One game. The Boston Bruins have one game left to save their season.

No longer in control of their own destiny, the Bruins must beat the Detroit Red Wings in regulation on Thursday to still have a shot at making the playoffs or else this season will end just like last. Via collapse.

Going into Tuesday night’s game against the Carolina Hurricanes, the Bruins faced in a situation where they needed to pick up six points out of a possible, well, six points. They needed to win out and in their first contest of the three-game homestand to end the 2015-16 regular season, the Bruins lost to the Hurricanes in overtime, dropping a highly valuable point. While the Red Wings face the Philadelphia Flyers on Wednesday night, Detroit would have to lose at least two of their last three games, including the one against Boston, in order for the Bruins to have a chance at playoff hockey.

A Red Wings win against the Flyers tomorrow night makes things a bit more complicated for the Bruins on Thursday.

And that’s only game 81. How did we get here?

Allow me to editorialize a bit.

The last piece I wrote in this space exclaimed that the Bruins could very well win the East, if Washington somehow gets eliminated early. Crazy, right? Back on March 12, the Bruins were in first place in the Atlantic and a top-6 team in the NHL, if only for a very short period of time. Now, three weeks later, the Bruins are in the same spot they were in last season—coming down the wire scouring for points and scenarios where other teams would have to falter to make a playoff spot available.

It didn’t work out last season. And if history repeats itself, this offseason might be crazier than it was in 2015.

For one, there could be more panic moves that would send the team into an actual rebuilding mode. Claude Julien could very well be let go, mere weeks after being celebrated as Boston’s winningest coach. Like last year, it’s easiest to put the blame on one scapegoat rather than shift around multiple personnel…again.

Getting rid of Julien would be counterproductive. There’s not a better coach available. If Julien wasn’t behind the bench this season, this editorial would have never gotten written because they would have been eliminated from playoff contention back in March.

Getting rid of some players, well, that’s a story for another time. Unless you think the Bruins should try to trade Tuukka Rask which is laughable and won’t be mentioned here again.

Regardless, the Bruins have been without a true identity for awhile now—maybe since 2014. They’re not big and bad, they’re not really an offensive powerhouse nor a model for defensive stability. They’re just there—wading around being a team that falls somewhere between mediocre and not bad. Want to know why this team can’t close out games or why they suddenly come alive with 20 minutes left? That’s it. Something’s just missing and sometimes, that can be a collective blame to go around rather than fall on just one person.

Don Sweeney’s made some smart moves: the Matt Beleskey signing, the Milan Lucic and later, Martin Jones trades. He’s also made some bad moves: trading a third round pick for Zac Rinaldo, not getting more for Reilly Smith and Dougie Hamilton. The same could be said for Cam Neely. Before Neely joined the team, the Bruins were without more than just an identity, they were without any viable means that could lead them to success. But, Neely fell into a Bill Belichick-like cycle: going with what worked so much that the routine turns into a bad habit.

But what happens next isn’t necessarily a sure thing. There are, of course, two scenarios. The Bruins could clean house, taking another two steps back while taking one forward.

Or you know, they could just win.

If the Bruins are able to win their last final two games, beginning with Thursday against the Detroit Red Wings, and get into the playoffs, it’s reasonable to believe that jobs are safe. A looming first round matchup against a hurting Tampa Bay Lightning seems the most likely and the most enticing for a Bruins team that…okay, nobody knows what this team is capable of so I’ll just stop there.

Most importantly, if the Bruins make the playoffs, the blame game goes away if only for a playoff round or two.

The Bruins got themselves into this situation. Not just Julien, or Sweeney, or Neely, or Rask, or Zdeno Chara, or anyone else. As much as the Bruins won in the past as a team, that’s how they’re losing, too.

On making assumptions about the Boston Bruins

The Boston Bruins needed to win.

After starting the season with three straight losses, the Bruins needed to carry over the momentum from their successful, two-for-two, road trip. Because before Wednesday night, the Bruins were winless at home.

After Wednesday night, they still are.

The Bruins had a two-goal lead up until 12 minutes were left in the third period. Then, the Flyers scored two goals within three minutes to tie it and send it to overtime where they won it. Just like that. The team that skated 24 hours prior pulled off a come-from-behind win against a team that hasn’t played since Saturday night.

Six games in and we’re still learning a lot about the Boston Bruins but what we’re learning–for the most part–are how to make assumptions. For one, the Boston Bruins might score a lot of goals this season. They already have 22, third best in the league. On the other hand, the Bruins are probably going to give up a lot of goals. They’ve already given up 26 goals this season, second worst in the league. Something doesn’t make sense.

The obvious answer is the makeshift, bend don’t break defense that the Bruins have iced the last six games. Kevan Miller and Adam McQuaid are playing top four minutes while rookies Tommy Cross and Colin Miller are partners on the third pairing. It’s not an ideal situation, but right now, that’s what they have. They’re going to have to live with the defense and they’re going to have to learn to find ways to overcome it.

The goals allowed number still stands out, though: 26 in six games, 21 in four home games. Bad defense plays a larger than life role, but it’s hard to excuse the last line of defense. It’s hard to ignore that Tuukka Rask hasn’t looked like Tuukka Rask at all.

“I just think Tuukka needs to stop the puck, said Bruins head coach Claude Julien. “There’s nothing that’s different and there may be mistakes, but that’s why you have a goaltender, to stop those.”

Rask wants you to know he feels pretty good. At least, that’s what he said after Wednesday night’s 5-4 loss where he stopped 32 of 37 shots. He admitted he let in some bad goals this season. He knows he can’t be happy about his performance. Still, the numbers are grim for Rask; 1-3-1 with a .854 save percentage and 4.40 goals against average. After letting in the Flyers tying goal, Bruins fans’ let out a mock cheer for Rask’s next save. Has it gotten this bad?

No. Of course not. But Rask still needs to be better. He knows it, too.

“I don’t think he’s making excuses either,” said Julien. “He’s pretty good about owning up to his play. But we need to be better as a group, from the goaltender on out, and our D’s didn’t close quick.”

Rask is off to his worst start in a Bruins uniform. This season, the defensive corps playing in front of him is the weakest he’s ever had. With the defense likely staying the way it is, Rask must make more timely saves because whether it’s earned or not, he’s going to be the one to take the blame.

So this is what it has come to. Winless in four games at home. Booing one of the top goaltenders in the NHL. Maybe we’re not learning anything about the Bruins after all.

Or maybe, we’re just too busy making assumptions.

Follow Mike on Twitter for more Bruins news, updates, and commentary.

The 2015-16 Boston Bruins looked like last year’s team

No one really knew what they were going to get out of the 2015-16 Boston Bruins in their first game on Thursday night.

There was the new-look offense, makeshift defense, and a new, offensively-driven, system from a coach known to stick to a defensively-sound scheme.

But it started good. Real good, even.

Before the first TV time out less than eight minutes in, the Bruins were already up 1-0 after David Krejci picked Winnipeg Jets’ defenseman Ben Chariot’s pocket for the unassisted goal. They had 11 shot attempts with eight landing on net. They were controlling the play and applying major pressure in the offensive zone. Things were better than they were in 2014-15 in both ends of the ice, just 20 minutes in.

“We respected both parts of our game in the first period,” said Bruins head coach Claude Julien. “We generated a great attack and we were on them and didn’t give them much in the first. That’s the way you want to play all three periods, but the second period got out of hand.”

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly where things turned. Maybe it was early in the second with the Bruins on the power play when Krejci botched a pass that led to an Andrew Ladd breakaway. Tuukka Rask made the save, but the momentum began to shift. In the span of 12 minutes in the second period, the Jets scored three unanswered goals. It was no longer a game after that.

“We got away from our defensive game after we did a pretty good job of creating a bunch of scoring chances,” said Krejci. “But on the other end, we totally forgot about our defensive game.”

The defense was suspect, which was to be assumed with Zdeno Chara and Dennis Seidenberg still out with injuries. Instead of the defense bending and not breaking, it broke. In fact, it snapped pretty quickly in the second period.

Matt Irwin was the unfortunate subject of criticism after his brutal turnover behind Rask led to the eventual go-ahead Winnipeg goal. Later in the second period, Irwin caught himself out of position alongside Zach Trotman leading to a wide open Drew Stafford for the Jets’ third goal of the game.

“We had enough of chances, a lot of shots,” said Krejci. “We gave up a lot of goals in the second period.”

Julien called the second period a lack of respect on the other side of the game. Krejci called it uncharacteristic. Let’s just call it what it was: more of the same.

We’ve seen this team before. The team that starts the game with promise but putters out after the first 20 minutes. The team that can’t finish–even after ending the game with 63 shot attempts. The team with an elite goaltender whose defense consistently lets him down–Rask made 26 saves and allowed five goals.

One game into the season and we’re seeing the 2015-16 Boston Bruins look a lot like the 2014-15 team. And after an offseason with a ton of moving parts going into several different directions, this was perhaps the worst case scenario for the Bruins on game one.

But that’s just it. It was one game down with 81 others left on the schedule. Is this reason to panic? Absolutely not. It’s just–in a word– disappointing. It was disappointing to see the Bruins come out flat for two-thirds of a game after an offseason of preaching change and having a new identity. It was even more disappointing after seeing what they’re capable of in the first period on Thursday.

Of course, there were bright spots. David Pastrnak continues to be the one of most promising pieces to an otherwise puzzle of a Bruins team. His tally early in the third period, a pure snipe from his off-wing, kept the Bruins close and gave them a quick jolt of energy before Chris Thorburn scored to extend the lead for Winnipeg.

The line of Brad Marchand-Patrice Bergeron-Loui Eriksson played well and did a good job of creating chances and leading the breakout from the defensive zone. But that’s pretty much it.

The Bruins don’t have a chance to regroup and think about their loss with the Canadiens and Lightning both in Boston on Saturday and Monday. Even though it’s only one game in, it might be a good time for the 2015-16 Boston Bruins to realize last season is in the past.

Right? It’s in the past. It’s over.

…right?

Follow Mike on Twitter for more Bruins news, updates, and commentary

The very strange homecoming of Tim Thomas

Tim Thomas is still a Boston sports hero.

I think. Maybe. Actually, I’m not sure. Here’s why.

It had been awhile since a “Thomas, Thomas…” chant rained down from the balcony of the TD Garden. The last time might have come after a clutch save in the 2012 Eastern Conference Quarterfinals, his last time between the pipes in Boston. With 11 minutes left in the third period, this time was because Thomas had just let in the Bruins’ fifth goal of the night, a video game-like juke of a move and snipe from Shawn Thornton.

“Thomas, Thomas…”

It was a taunt from the fans addressed to the same guy who led the Bruins to their first Stanley Cup Championship in 39 years in 2011. Then, with about two minutes left in the game, David Krejci fired home a point-blank snapshot after a brutal Florida turnover for the sixth Bruins goal of the night.

Again, “Thomas, Thomas…” with the fans more in unison than any other attempt during the game.

“I didn’t really hear it too much,” said Thomas. “I hear that everywhere. I was more focused on what was happening on the ice than what was happening off the ice.”

Tuesday night wasn’t Thomas’ first trip back to the Boston since taking a year off from hockey. The last time, November 7, 2013, Thomas was scratched due to an injury. There was a tribute video that time–a collection of saves from the goaltender’s time in Boston, leading up to highlights from the Bruins’ 2011 postseason run. Thomas waived from the press box, acknowledging the standing ovation from fans.

There wasn’t much fanfare this time, unless you’re counting the six goals that Thomas allowed in the Bruins’ 6-2 win over the Florida Panthers. It probably wasn’t the homecoming Thomas was looking for. Then again, he probably wasn’t looking for much.

“I felt good going into it,” said Thomas who still managed to stop 35 of Boston’s 41 shots. “I felt like I was going to play a strong game, and well, you can see the results. The good news is, in this league a loss is a loss. It doesn’t matter what you lose by. A win is a win. It’s one loss in our category but we can look forward to next game to making it a win.”

Tuesday marked Thomas’ second start against his former team, both of which fell in the loss column. Thomas and various Bruins have talked about moving on from the situation and living in the present. Tuukka Rask is their goaltender now, an elite one at that, and the years where Thomas manned the pipes are well behind them. But there’s no denying what the Bruins and Tim Thomas once built together as a team in Boston, a place where the goaltender once called home.

“I felt very comfortable being in this building,” said Thomas. ” Obviously, I didn’t feel as comfortable when they started getting 19 shots in the first period and a couple of goals going in, but I felt comfortable coming into the game.”

If we’re being honest, it wasn’t pretty. While the Panthers team in front of him was pretty poor, Thomas was unable to steal a game like he did so many times when in Boston. It got worse as the game ended as tempers flared after Carl Soderberg went hard in the Panthers’ crease, catching Thomas with a high stick in the process. Thomas retaliated with a swing of the goalie stick towards Soderberg’s head, an act that penalized the netminder with three seconds left in the game.

“With less than a minute left in a game and they’re up by four goals, 6-2, I took exception to that,” Thomas said in his post-game remarks.

There it was, the kayfabe heel turn. With the swing of a stick aimed at the head of a Bruin, Thomas did all that he could, completely unconsciously, to get the crowd to turn against him. Similar to a pro wrestler who follows the script of becoming the bad guy, a defeated Thomas became just that. Even though Thomas had been aggressive in a Bruins uniform before, it’s different when he’s on the other team.

Maybe that’s just it. Aside from everything he had accomplished in his time with the Bruins, Thomas is just another player on another team. The recognition was given in his first appearance and was meant to cover it all. Until he comes back to Boston wearing a Bruins jersey again (unlikely) or in a suit, retired from the game, that’s when he’ll get another hero’s welcome.

For now, the photos and memories are what keeps Thomas as a Boston sports hero, not another team’s jersey.

Follow Mike on Twitter for more Bruins updates, news, and commentary

That time I live-blogged The Bachelor

Am I in it for the right reasons?

Probably not, but that’s what I kept thinking to myself when I started telling people that yes, I’d be writing a live blog on the television show The Bachelor. But wait, why? That’s usually the follow-up. Easy–because I made a new year’s resolution that I would write more, almost as often as one would go to the gym. (Writing, after all, is an exercise.) Writing about hockey is fun and something I like doing, but a challenge would be to write about a topic that I would usually never even touch and really couldn’t care less about.

Enter Juan Pablo.

This is not my first time watching this ridiculous series. I made a promise to myself I wouldn’t admit that…here’s to transparency.

Here’s a quick story. Once upon a time last summer, during one of the hottest days of the year, the coolest room in my apartment just so happened to be the one that had the one TV with cable. Since this room served as a living room, dining room, and maybe even a kitchen at times during this heatwave, it’s safe to say we spent a good amount of time in these quarters. My roommate Hannah was engulfed in The Bachelorette at the time and my friend Bailey and I decided, what the hell, let’s watch it, and live-tweet our jokes about it the entire time.

Within one week, myself, Bailey, and my other roommate Greg were calling ourselves “The Right Reasons” line when we played hockey. The show was so bad, it became infectious to us, like a bunch of frat bros quoting Wedding Crashers and Anchorman.

So when it was announced that the new series would begin, I decided I’d live-blog the first episode (read: I lost a bet), especially since it coincided with my new new year’s resolution. My roommate Hannah, obviously, was in, as was her sister Emma who came over for the BIG NIGHT. They came prepped with their picks on who Juan Pablo would choose and should hopefully provide actual commentary that may or may not be publishable.

What you’re about to read is probably awful and weird, but that’s what happens when you decide to sit through this epic adventure of a reality TV show about dating…for the right reasons.

8:01 – Okay, first critical thought: how much more shelf-life does this show have? Isn’t this technically Tinder, but in real life? Like hey, here’s a dude who is  looking for love. Awesome. Here are a bunch of women who might be interested in him. Swipe to the left or right to advance.

8:05 – Are we going to see Juan Pablo’s daughter’s mother? Can she screen the women he’s courting? Better yet, can the kid? Is this even consider courting? Does anyone even use that term anymore? Who courts? Are there challenges involved here? What about if this was a hybrid of Road Rules? Is this the best idea ever? A Road Rules/Bachelor hybrid? I have so many questions here.

8:11 – This is so realistic and something that happens all of the time, I’m sure. Just two bros sitting around talking about how they dated 25 women at once and then broke their hearts all in front of a bunch of cameras. Seriously. I think this is Real Life Tinder. “Do you have any strategies as to how many women you’re going to kiss?” said one Bachelor to the other. “Nah bro, I just swipe left,” not said by Juan Pablo but probably at least a real thought that he had just then.

8:15 – “So then we’re like in Thailand, riding on elephants and then the next thing you know, we’re in San Diego, getting sprayed by skunks and washing our dogs who also got sprayed,” said one Bachelor to Juan Pablo, no doubt reciting a line from an Owen Wilson buddy-flick.

8:16 – Do I need to learn these people’s names? No, right? Just Juan Pablo is fine. I’m bad with names. How the hell is he going to remember the names of 25 women? Can he use note cards? Hannah says no. Emma doesn’t look amused by my somewhat serious question.

8:21 – Does host Chris Harrison get to date these women after they get voted off? He has to at least try, right?

8:22 – My roommate Hannah has a list of contestants that she likes. A real list.

8:23 – “Renee’s on my list!” said Hannah, looking at the notes section on her phone with names on it. This is SERIOUS BUSINESS.

8:24 – Single mom alert!

8:26 – There have been four women shown so far and each of them are on Hannah’s list. I’m pretty sure she’s rooting for everyone to win, which is essentially what happened on TLC’s Sister Wives show.

8:27 – The fourth woman rode up to the camera on a bicycle, taking off her helmet and sunglasses and saying “Hi, I’m so and so.” If this isn’t the best introduction to an 80s instructional video on bike safety, then I don’t know what is.

8:29 – Emma says that the women cannot stop pursing their lips. I don’t know what this means so I asked. Apparently it’s a duck-face thing that’s not a duck-face thing. We decided it was a half duck-face but couldn’t think of a better word for it. This is a real Monday night conversation in Somerville, Massachusetts.

8:36 – Chris Harrison is SO PUMPED to see Juan Pablo. I was half expecting a triple low high-five, kind of like this one.

8:38 – Chris Harrison just said to Juan Pablo, “The response for you being the bachelor was SO GREAT that we HAD to allow more contestants on the show, so we’ve added TWO MORE.” TWO. MORE. Such an overwhelming response! TWO MORE, Juan Pablo! Think you can handle that, tough guy?

8:40 – Smart money says that “Former NBA Dancer” doesn’t last longer than the end of the night. I won’t learn her name other than the fact that she doesn’t like conversation and had an awkward pause on network television.

8:41 – I had someone in the second limo being the first woman to give Juan Pablo a gift for his daughter. What were the Vegas odds? Can we do prop bets for The Bachelor? Why hasn’t anyone said that they were in it for the right reasons yet? Still, so many questions.

8:43 – A real conversation that may or may not have happened during pre-production of the tapings with the latest contestant:

Producer: “Lucy, what do you do for work?”

Lucy: “I’m a free spirit.”

Producer: “Oh. Cool if we put that down for your occupation?”

Lucy: “Yes.”

{Enter Lucy “Free Spirit”}

8:46 – If I’m ever on a blind date, and I’m usually not, and a girl wheeled a piano up to me, proceeded to sit down, play a song, screw it up, and then forget to give me her name, I’d have the best story ever to tell all of my friends if I didn’t already Snapchat my reaction to them first. If anyone ever reads this and is put in this situation with me, please don’t bring a piano. Ukeleles are totally acceptable, though.

8:49 – The 1st grade teacher gave Juan Pablo a gold star because he’s been good and because he’s doing the right thing by appearing on The Bachelor. So basically, Juan Pablo is the in for the right reasons. I just asked Hannah why nobody has said they’re in it for the right reasons yet. Apparently that’s so last season. I’m so behind on pop culture.

8:55 – Someone just pretended to be pregnant. Can we just stop the show now? At what point can Juan Pablo just tell someone to get back into the limo? That would have been my guess.

8:57 – Contestant Kelly brought her dog and lists herself or occupation as a “Dog Lover.” If I’m Juan Pablo and I see that dog running towards me, I drop to the ground, start convulsing, and explain I’m deathly allergic to dogs. Then, when she’s mortified, I’d tell her she’s been punk’d and that there never was a dating show to begin with and then have her wave to the cameras and say “hi, mom!” I mean, if you don’t have a sense of humor with these things…

8:59 – Hannah and Emma like the single mom, the Opera singer and the assistant district attorney. Remember that, Internet.

9:04 – Juan Pablo is flat-out giddy right now as he walks into a room of 27 women whose names he probably already forgot. (I did too, totally cool, Juan Pablo.) He then starts drinking and puts on music. If I was  Juan Pablo, I’d probably just want to a hockey game or something. “Hey, guys! We’re going to watch a Florida Panthers/Nashville Predators game! Who’s down?!” Whoever sticks around, wins The Bachelor.

9:06 – There’s a photo booth in the mansion. A photo booth. JP is just living it right.

9:07 – Do you think anyone calls him JP? That’d be a lot easier for me. What would his hockey nickname be in the locker room? Juan Pabs. Pabs? Pabs. It’s Pabs, isn’t it?

9:12 – “If I don’t get a rose tonight, I will be absolutely devastated!!!111!!!” said one contestant, probably like that if she was typing her reaction to seeing the rose to her friend on AIM. Hey Pabs–this is when you put on that Panthers/Predators game and see who sticks around. I bet they would have all HATED the 1-3-1 back in the day. That’s okay, everyone–a lot of us thought it was boring, too.

9:17 – “It’s not just a rose, it’s my future.” Do these girls know that IMDB gave The Bachelor series 1 1/2 stars?

9:19 – John Tavares of the New York Islanders has a hat trick and two assists tonight. He should get the first impression rose, Pabs. Do the right thing. Nassau County could use this win.

9:23 – This contestant who was engaged last year is on a reality dating TV show and is visibility upset about Pabs not talking to her. She’s not in it for the right reasons. “Too emotional,” said Hannah, completely overlooking my pun. She wasn’t on either of Hannah’s or Emma’s lists, that’s how you know. I asked how well they predicted the last winner. Hannah smirked. “Pretty well.”

9:28 – “Formerly Engaged” finally got her chance to talk one-on-one with Pabs. Yes. Talk about your insecurites. YES. Talk about your engagement within the first 30 seconds of talking to Pabs. This is always the best way to impress someone. Emma thinks “Formerly Engaged” is getting the rose in a dramatic twist. I think she goes home. I promised myself I wouldn’t make predictions.

9:30 – “OHHH MYYY GODDDD,” – said everyone in my apartment, in unison, when another contestant said she was the missing piece of the puzzle of Pabs and his daughter that she had printed out and made into an actual puzzle that was actually missing a piece.

9:32 – I know nothing about these things, I promise, but the “Opera Singer” and the “Assistant DA” are the final two when all is said and done. It won’t even be close. I wish I was better at names. This is a real life problem because I actually am horrible with names. Have I mentioned that Pabs’ beerability is through the roof right now? Because it is.

9:33 – Oh, duh. Okay so, beerability is how likely you’d be to want to grab a beer or seven with someone and just shoot the shit with them. Essentially, it’s a guys night, bro night, whatever you want to call it. Justin Bourne of Backhand Shelf introduced me to this term and it’s been a part of my vernacular ever since. (Post-blog note: you can read more here)

9:35 – The “Opera Singer” isn’t in it for the right reasons!! What a twist!! This is just like LOST. Who would the “Opera Singer” be? Widmore?! She’s Widmore, isn’t she?

9:36 – “…sure, I will accept this rose,” she said hesitantly after Pabs gave her the first impression rose. Oh my God, she’s Ben Linus!

9:38 – They all hate her. This is fantastic! The “Opera Singer” is Ben. Yes!

9:42 – So Pabs eliminates seven women? This really is just like LOST! It’s like the great purge between The Others and the Dharma Initiative!

9:46 – The dog stays! And so does the NBA dancer?  This is why I don’t give predictions ever. Also, the poor red-headed woman will never forget going up to accept a rose thinking Pabs called her name but uh…didn’t. That’s like missing an open net with the game tied. Can we just call her Kaspers Daugauvins going forward? Too soon?

9:46 – Too soon.

9:47 – The “Free Spirit” stays! “She’s a child,” yells Hannah. Spoiler alert: I think they’re the same age.

9:50 – “It’s really nice to meet you [inaudible, mumbles],” the girls say as they say goodbye to Pabs. Wait a minute! That’s Chris Harrison’s music! “Hey, guys! Wanna hang?” Real Life Tinder.

9:52 – That’s it? Eight minutes of highlights on the upcoming season? We’re going to watch Pabs date 20 women at once and see how happy everyone seems. Strangely missing from the highlights? Ben Linus, the “Opera Singer!”

9:56 – Juan Pablo is in over his head, clearly, although his beerability is through the roof. Also, there’s the “Opera Singer” from Ottawa. Now, let’s never live blog The Bachelor again.

9:58 – At least, not until the finale or something. Hannah says, “see you next week.” I hate this.